Don't Want to Live in the Cheapest Room Any More

Gratefulness WORD FOR THE DAY on Monday, Apr. 8

 

 

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Khwajeh Shams al-Din Muhammad Hafez-e Shirazi

 

I had another doctor appointment May 7. I am getting better, very slowly. Unfortunately, the itching is still present, though the rash has lessened. There was no talk of taking me off the drugs to help control the itching. Just a question if I needed refills.

So the brain is medicated into not minding so much the fact that I itch. Great. Stress can make the itching worse. There still might be a long term condition, but for now things are basically 'cope as best you can' and hope to keep getting better.

 

I have been fighting off fear and boredom and pain to where I am sick of the topics. The chronic pain is probably a larger problem right now than the itching and rash.

 

Now the good news! One of my favorite authors, who also happens to teach writing skills, just printed a new book. I got it from the library today and ordered it for myself from Amazon tonight. If I am to write as I have wanted to in the past, there is no time like the present! So I will not be jumping back into busy, busy life any time soon if at any time period. I plan to spend my energy on practicing self-care, writing, husband, grandchildren and our home.

 

If and when I sense my patience and social skills returning and rising I will be involved in more things. For now, suffice it to say I am doing all I can to fashion a good life with Christ in the world in the skin I am in now. There are times this does not even look like the skin I have always thought of as mine. Weird. I remember reading in an Oliver Saks book about how some patients have to struggle with their relationship to their own body after traumatic injury. I get it.

 

I am working towards: more gratitude for daily blessings, appetite control (I have put on pounds working through this depression and fear), resuming some sort of exercise however limited, writing practice every day, prayer and music to keep me focused on Christ and His Presence in my life, relationships with those who help me see life in a nurturing light. Gee! guess I am somewhat busy!

 

Please keep praying for me as I am praying for those who read this. Your comments on the blog are welcome and help me know who is actually reading this stuff besides Bob and Dan Cooksey!

 

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