Lord knows ..

The Lord knows I need all the help I can get today! Hard to stay upbeat with set backs and reality creeping in.

 
 

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Our Crosswalk Group

Our church is called The Crossing. Our small groups are referred to as Crosswalk Groups. Thinking about this reminded me of a song I used to teach to small children about crossing streets.
 
"When I come to a corner, I stop, look, and listen
Stop, look, and listen to what I hear
Then I walk across the street
And pick up my feet so nothing can trip me over!"
 
Now, in my sixties I am leading a group that will try to hone in on others older than 50!
Just this morning a few of us were gathered in the foyer and someone said, "We look like the walking wounded!" Bill had his arm in a sling after recent shoulder surgery, I am still wearing the brace from the broken arm, and Dennis is awaiting back surgery this Tuesday. I said, "No matter what is going on we have to remember 'though the outer man is wasting away, the inner man is renewed day by day.'"
 
2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 reads in full "Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
 
So in our crosswalk group, I hope to keep us focused on watching out for each other and helping each other through the crossings of older age. We are like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. We need each other to help us to keep looking up to the things that are not seen, those eternal things that bid us be faithful to the end.

If you are reading this I ask that you pray for Tom and Peg, Bob and I, Mike and Kay, Dan, Dennis and Judy, Nan and Kevin, Fred and Louise, Kathy and Lee, Harold and Myrna, and Billie as we begin our adventure September 19th with the kick off book "Not A Fan."
 
 
 

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David Crowder and Rumi

David Crowder Band has recorded some terrific music over the past few years. A friend of mine was teaching pre-teens a Christian Dance routine and I suggested their song "Church Music" as a form of worship.

This summer I decided to get a book from the library of poetry by a famous poet named Rumi. Born in 1201 in Balkg, Afghanistan until his family emigrated to Konya, Turkey. He was a poet of Islamic mysticism, a smaller group  of Sufism, known as Mevlevi Order. "It became famous for the sacred dance that was its central practice."

I vaguely remembered some talk during my childhood about the Swirling Dervishes? It turns out their actual name is 'Whirling Dervishes, darvish being the Persian word for "poor", which, when applied to members of Sufi Orders, took on the connotation of "poor in spirit" or humility.'

WAIT A MINUTE! Aren't Christians called to be poor in spirit and humble? The parallels draw me to read and learn more. For now, compare what Rumi wrote and how Crowder expressed it.

Rumi wrote:

"Dance, when you're broken open.
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.
Dance, in the middle of fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, when you're perfectly free."

Crowder wrote:

"Dance, if you're wounded,
Dance, if you're torn in two.
Dance, broken open.
Dance, with nothing to lose.
Oh, perfectly free.
Oh, dance if you wanna be."

Imagine my surprise when I asked YouTube if they had any videos of the Dervishes and the one below popped up. So please watch the following two video clips and draw your own conclusions.

More Lizzie Tunes

First we found the US Olympic teams syncing "call me maybe" but the favorite of the search was the enormous effort someone went to in pasting the entire song from film clips! If you like Star Wars, this is a semi-master piece! Enjoy!

 

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Inspired by Spending Time with Lizzie!

Watch this and be sure to look for Chewy!

 

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#9 #9 #9 #9

No, not that awful Beatles song. Tooth #9's crown broke in 3 pieces at lunch on Friday. I spent the weekend basically in seclusion wit the Lord as I looked like a pumpkin. In order to seat that crown they had drilled my tooth into a point. So yes, left front tooth Can be re-crowned for $980.00. The dentist KNOWS how I feel about these teeth we've been filling and drilling for 50 years. He has offered me a one time discount to do the crown for only $450.00.  (They are probably placing bets in his office as to which one I will choose.)
The Oral Surgeon will pull it for a mere $250.00.
Now what would you do if you knew it could be added to the not-yet-made partial for no more than the $1040 it will cost to make?
Yikes. The Summer of 2012 is as obnoxious as that horrible song (that I hope is not stuck in your head since I wrote about it).

When you can't chew...

 

When you can't chew food the term "Daily Grind" takes on a whole new meaning. After almost 3 months of making some of my food this way, it will never simply mean coffee or workload to me again!

 

 

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Brokenness Today

Yesterday we had a great lunch with friends from church who host our Crosswalk Group. That was a great lunch until I took my last bite of salad. The cap on my front tooth split into 3 pieces. I was left with the fang the dentist had carved to attach the cap. There was an immediate foul taste and odor in my mouth which told me the cap had been leaking for some time. I began to fall apart. It was a rough afternoon. The dentist I go to never works on Friday. The what-ifs and if-onlys came parading into my mind, and as little bits of the tooth point crumbled off slowly during the afternoon, it was very difficult to keep from sliding into a sewer of despair.

I look like a jack-o-antern now with this pointy front tooth and many gaps from the missing upper partial. As I pondered this in my prayer time this morning, trying to simply remain open to God, I was struck by my own vanity regarding my looks. I remembered all the homeless and broken women I know and have known who are missing teeth. My financial ability to obtain dental care is the only thing that keeps me from appearing just as they do.

Again, I am being asked to yield to whatever the Lord is asking of me and to gently face truth and reality with my eyes open. As my tear ducts empty again and again in frustration, despair and grief, I see that the author of Ecclesiastes was right - All IS vanity. NAS reads: Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher; vanity of vanities, all is vanity. Dictionary defines it as the state or quality of being valueless, futile, or unreal. ESV reads: Perfectly pointless, says the Teacher, perfectly pointless. Everything is pointless.

So why do I need to see this now?and what am I to do? Another attitude and condition to let go of. See the pointlessness of all the hooopla we Americans make over appearances in contrast to reality. I have had soft and rotting teeth since I was ten years old. I am almost 62 years old. Many fillings, drillings, attempts to attain that "perfect" smile. I can't bleach my teeth because so many surfaces are not my teeth but caps and crowns, fillings, and who knows what all. I wonder how much Americans are spending on tooth whitening concoctions and how many hungry people could be fed with that amount?

I am praying for the courage to follow where ever I am led. I did not have the energy or courage to go to my stitching group today. I do not know if I have the courage to go to church tomorrow. Maybe spending this weekend getting my bearings again, listening in prayer, doing my paperwork will help me walk out whatever next week holds with more courage and peace.

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Brokenness Today

Yesterday we had a great lunch with friends from church who host our Crosswalk Group. That was a great lunch until I took my last bite of salad. The cap on my front tooth split into 3 pieces. I was left with the fang the dentist had carved to attach the cap. There was an immediate foul taste and odor in my mouth which told me the cap had been leaking for some time. I began to fall apart. It was a rough afternoon. The dentist I go to never works on Friday. The what-ifs and if-onlys came parading into my mind, and as little bits of the tooth point crumbled off slowly during the afternoon, it was very difficult to keep from sliding into a sewer of despair.

I look like a jack-o-antern now with this pointy front tooth and many gaps from the missing upper partial. As I pondered this in my prayer time this morning, trying to simply remain open to God, I was struck by my own vanity regarding my looks. I remembered all the homeless and broken women I know and have known who are missing teeth. My financial ability to obtain dental care is the only thing that keeps me from appearing just as they do.

Again, I am being asked to yield to whatever the Lord is asking of me and to gently face truth and reality with my eyes open. As my tear ducts empty again and again in frustration, despair and grief, I see that the author of Ecclesiastes was right - All IS vanity. NAS reads: Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher; vanity of vanities, all is vanity. Dictionary defines it as the state or quality of being valueless, futile, or unreal. ESV reads: Perfectly pointless, says the Teacher, perfectly pointless. Everything is pointless.

So why do I need to see this now?and what am I to do? Another attitude and condition to let go of. See the pointlessness of all the hooopla we Americans make over appearances in contrast to reality. I have had soft and rotting teeth since I was ten years old. I am almost 62 years old. Many fillings, drillings, attempts to attain that "perfect" smile. I can't bleach my teeth because so many surfaces are not my teeth but caps and crowns, fillings, and who knows what all. I wonder how much Americans are spending on tooth whitening concoctions and how many hungry people could be fed with that amount?

I am praying for the courage to follow where ever I am led. I did not have the energy or courage to go to my stitching group today. I do not know if I have the courage to go to church tomorrow. Maybe spending this weekend getting my bearings again, listening in prayer, doing my paperwork will help me walk out whatever next week holds with more courage and peace.

 

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Teacher Tells Her Best Show and Tell

I got this via e-mail from a friend. It must be humor day because I have gotten funny things all day. This one takes the cake!!

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

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Oral Woes

Hopefully, today marked the end of this oral surgery sumer. Returned to see a different surgeon. He determined that the 3 bone spurs that were a result of the 2 extractions last June needed to be reduced. So, 3 injections, 3 reductions and 3 stitches later, I am once again on a soft diet, with no straws. Hopefully, this will take care of things so the Dentist and his staff can begin building my upper partial in 2 weeks.

SO GLAD to be done with all this! And I really MISS my teeth!

Maybe have a full ability to chew again by mid-September?

The good news is I had a milk shake for lunch and a frapp at Starbucks for only $2. The mocha coconut IS as wonderful as I thought it would be!

Smilin' though toothless,

Molly D.

 

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April 14, 2012

For me, one of the joys of filling a journal is going back to read through it. Knitter says that for us "to understand god's will in process, for it to become real - that is, a felt reality in one's life - one often needs the perspective of the rear-view mirror." As so reading through my journal can be that experience for me. I wrote this last April. The last three months have given me the opportunity over and over and over again to yield to His working even in the midst of turmoil. I have found His courage at every turn. Even so, Lord Jesus, come!

"Courage? Courage you say?

I tell you,

As your love for Me deepens

Courage will course through

The very cells of your being.

I will give you the courage of the Lion of Judah

-as you rest in Me

-as you abide with Me

-as you draw upon Me for your life."

 

"Jesus, I rest

I still and quiet my soul.

Come, Lord,

be it unto me according to You will.

As You wish

- Your every desire fulfilled in me.

Shine, my Lord

let me, as the moon, reflect

Your light."

 

(Look closely. See the moon?)

Acts 4:13-21, Rev 5:5, LK 1:38, MT 5:14

 

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TSC and ISP

Today I get to go to the Convent of the Transfiguration in Glendale for a quiet day and night.

The photo above, taken in Talkeetna, Alaska at the Roadhouse reminds me of older times and welcome signs. Toni and the Sisters always have their welcome sign out for me and for others seeking rest and refuge from the world. I am weary of medical things and ready for some rest from all of that!

This is the altar area at St Mary's retreat House. I can be blessed just sitting in the space below this window. This weekend I am privileged to participate in leadership presenting an interdenominational retreat for homeless women with addiction issues. I was originally scheduled to do this in July, but had to bow out due to all the medical issues gong on in my life. Now I feel like someone being released from custody! Pray the 16 participants will all be able to attend and receive what the Lord has for them. Pray the 4 leaders will do our part as the Lord intends. We will be together Saturday morning through Sunday at lunch. I also ask that you pray blessing upon the Sisters of the Convent, and the staff and employees who are making this retreat financially possible.

(TSC is Transfiguration Spirituality Center and ISP is Ignatian Spirituality Project!)

May your weekend be blessed with an increased awareness of His presence!

Molly D.

 

 

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The Lily

I took this shot recently at Marsha & Bryan's frog pond across the street. It was cloudy and overcast last Friday, but that seemed to make the colors in the flower more brilliant than on a sunny day. When I had the picture developed I was struck by the visible water around it. As you probably know by now, I have a 'history' with lily pads and the search for living water! When I took Marsha the prints a few days later, there was NO TRACE of the flower, none.

My counselor has a blue and white representation of a lily flower on her card with the words "Breathe Deeply." It has become a saying in our household! When one of us is tense, the other just stops and begins to inhale in an exaggerated way with a smile and a noise inhale and slow, exhale. Bob has even begun just DOING that at work. in his usual style, no explanation, just the actions, in an attempt to rise above the chaos of any given moment in the lab.
Here is a poem I wrote July 21, 1990 at the "Lily Pond" at Cincinnati Nature Center. The Lord is still asking me to "just be His lily pad, stand and tip."

Lily pads at the pond                      Molly Lin Dutina         

Grow on stalky stems.

Leaves unfold an opened palm,

Cupped at center point.

Summer shower starts to drop

Mercurial glistening spheres,

Gathering in the center palm

Until the bulbous weight

Smears shower drops

Into glistening globs

And tips the pad so full,

To pour its contents overboard,

And rising from the spill,

Stately shielded lily-palm

Begins the cycle once more.

Drench me Lord

In Your shower of love

Let me gather and drink my fill,

Then spill it over on those around

And rise to await Your holy will.

Keep my stalk flexible,

My palm open and cupped,

Eager to receive Your all,

Questioning not Your skill,

Only trusting the shower of love,

To melt my rigid will.

Send the wind of Your Spirit

To tip me over, pour me out,

Then drench me once again

With cleansing water of holy Word.

Let Your light shine through

My enshrouding mist.

Color me with Your promise this:

Abiding presence and constant love,

Indwelling grace that conquers sin,

Transfigured rigid I

Yielded and bent

In the service of Christ,                                                                                                                

Spilling forth rivers of living water                                                                                            

And giving rest unto croaky voiced frogs            

Who, when Spirit-kissed,

Become priests and kings  

Singing their praises to You.

CAST OFF & THERAPY BEGUN!

Here is my arm and wrist, a few hours out of the cast, before soft washing and baby oil treatments!
Here is my lovely new brace called "Titan."

No, I am not bionic. Yes I have metal rods in the complicated brace to protect my arm from any more damage and support it as it continues to heal. Doc told me if he left me in the cast until it was completely healed, I would never move my wrist again!

Thus I began Physical Therapy. It was not a bad as I anticipated. I only needed Ibruprofen yesterday for the pain from all this new movement after almost 6 weeks of being held in the same position. The therapist was impressed with how much range of motion I retained. I guess working it even while in the cast was NOT harmful!

The difficult part came as I was leaving and she said, "Think of yourself as left handed, i.e., use it as much as you can while in the brace, as well as doing the exercises 3-4 times a day.So I went off to the grocery to find XL rubber gloves for working in the kitchen. Wet towels in the washer are still too heavy for me. Afetr a search I found some Playtex XL rubber gloves that fit over the Titan brace. The first time I used them I accidentally cut off the index finger tip on the left hand! So I rubber banded it, put a flimsy glove under it and went about my chores. This morning I put superglue in the rubber banded tip. It seemed to hold for lunch dishes!

I am faithfully doing my exercises, returning to PT Thursday morning and back to the doc next Monday! Hoping for lots of healing, return to full range of motion and learning how to use these arthritic hands to the best of their ability without causing more problems.
Oh, she also told me that crocheting would be excellent therapy when we get a bit further along :-)

Sittin' on the Dashboard Watchin' Over Me

As Bob and I drove cross country from California to Ohio in 1971, one of the songs on the radio had the lyrics:

Holy God, Holy Strong One, Holy & Merciful Savior

 

For many years I have enjoyed 2 cd's of Gregorian Chant. After I recently loaded the chant to iTunes and subsequently to my iPad, I had difficulty finding my favorite one. It seems iTunes rearranges the titles. I did not even know which chant it was, but I have over the years found it rolling through my spirit, even in unlikely places such as the grocery store. Today I was determined to FIND it on my iPad. That led me to You Tube and thus this blog! I even discovered a different screen on iTunes that lists the songs as they were arranged on the cd.

The Scriptures that follow have taken on new meaning and given me encouragement as I see myself suddenly aging rapidly and trying to prepare for the next decade or so. 

 

2 COR 4:16-18  Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

ESV Zephaniah 3:16-17 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

I know that the disciple of Christ is called to die to self and to let His Spirit live within and through the Disciple. That means placing His will higher than mine in priority and trusting His ways in all things. He is renewing, working for us and in us and I gather the Lord will sing over me with loud singing. Well, He has! I went on-line to finally get the translation of this chant, which I have enjoyed for years. WHAT AN EYE OPENER!

In the midst of life, we are in death:
Whom shall we seek as a help,
If not Thee, O Lord,
Who dost rightly grow wrathful for our sins?

Holy God,
Holy Strong One,
Holy and Merciful Saviour,
Do not hand us over to a bitter death.

 

In all the recent losses of my brain, my teeth and my hands, I mostly do not want to grow biter. I do not want a bitter death in my spirit even as I walk the earth. Oh Lord, You have been helping me to sing this even when I did not know the meaning of the words. Now work in me to make this death to self sweet as I yield to Your plans and Your ways. Watch the You Tube video to hear it sung by the Benedictine Monks!

 

The Latin lyrics are: 

Media vita in morte sumus:
quem quærimus adiutorem,
nisi te Domine,
Qui pro peccatis nostris iuste irasceris?

Sancte Deus,
Sancte fortis,
Sancte misericors Salvator,
amaræ morti ne tradas nos.

 

 

 

In an effort not to have to type the article I copied this from aarp.org. We saw it in the June 2012 issue of the aarp "Bulletin". Enjoy!

A World Without Toilet Paper?

Common items — from business cards to gasoline — could become obsolete in the next half-century

by: Betsy Towner | from: AARP Bulletin | June 8, 2012

In the next half-century many fixtures of everyday life will go the way of the gramophone, labeled "quaint" and relegated to museums — if not the trash. In 50 years, what do futurists predict will make Americans wax nostalgic?
See also: Old-time foods evoke nostalgia — who wants chicken a la king and fried rice?

— Corbis

Cursive
Hawaii, Indiana, Illinois and Ohio have officially dropped handwriting as an educational requirement, with many states currently considering doing the same. One day extra instruction may be required for students who wish to read historical documents in their original drafts.
Desktops
Already, some tech companies have desktop-free offices. Employees work on laptops, saving to a "cloud" — a virtual server for data storage accessed through the Internet. Soon, all the computing power we need will fit onto our phones.

Going, going, (mostly) gone

• Tube televisions
• Subway tokens
• Rolodexes
• Printed encyclopedias
• Phone books
• Incandescent light bulbs
• Film
• Bank deposit slips
• Answering machines

Drivers
Google's robotic car has a near-perfect record on thousands of miles of California highways; Nevada will be the first state to issue permits for self-driving autos. The best part? Robots don't drink, text or fall asleep at the wheel.
Glove box road maps
No need for these when map apps offer directions, traffic info, drive-time estimates and an arrow to the nearest Starbucks.
Home phones
As these 20th-century icons gather dust, people will drop their land-line plans and opt for cell-only. Eventually, we'll be talking on minicomputers the size of cellphones, and basic telephones will go the way of the dodo.
Language barriers
Portable translation software will let us shoot the breeze with anyone, with both parties speaking their native languages.
Passwords
Instead of your having to remember (and regularly update) a combination of letters and numbers, your device will remember you. Facial biometric software will enable you to simply look at your cellphone or tablet — and unlock it.
Physical media
Goodbye CDs, DVDs, Blu-Rays, thumb drives, video game discs — and their players. Electronic entertainment will be bought and played directly from the Internet.

They also listed snail mail, analog clocks, piggy banks, gasoline pumps, and business cards.

Wow! Can anyone remember when tvs were huge, black and white, and only had about a 6 inch screen?

How Many Traits Have You Accomplished?

Connie Springer wrote these observations are part of her project that resulted in the book Positively Ninety: Interviews with Lively Nonagenarians.

20 Personality Traits of Lively Nonagenarians

 Her actual photos, too!

1. Flexibility (being willing to adapt to new situations)
2.  Having a sense of humor  ( SEE ABOVE!)
3.  Living Simply
4. Taking one day at a time
    
5. Never turning down an invitation
    
6. Doing things in moderation (particularly in regard to food)
    
7. Getting regular exercise
    
8. Having an optimistic attitude
    
9. Keeping mentally stimulated
    
10. Being open to meeting new people
     
11. Relating to younger people
     
12. Being connected to friends and family
     
13. Involvement in enjoyable activities
     
14. Loving to read
     
15. Having a “nothing can stop me” outlook
     
16. Sharing and caring       
     
17. Not thinking about age
     
18. Being interested in what’s going on around you
     
19. Never quitting learning
     
20. Being just plain lucky (being blessed with good genes, good health,
    and meaningful relationships) 

 Keep Aiming High!!