The Skin I am In

I began to have a little itching in January. I wondered if it was cosmetics I got for Christmas. Stopped using them. Wondered if it was laundry soap. Went back to old brand. Tried lotions, creams over the counter and prescription, oils. Nothing made it cease. By mid-February I was driven to ask the doctor about this itching. I was squirming and scratching and could no longer ignore it. She put me on a course of steriods. You probably know the drill, day 1 = 6 tablets, day 2 = 5, etc. until you are down to one. Remember that your skin is your largest bodily organ. The drug helped with the worst itching, but never took it entirely away.

By the second week of March I was frantic again. She said I could try another course of steroids. I finished those and changed a blood pressure medication per her suggestion. Cut down on Prilosec dose, stopped Zrytec and went to Benadryl every 4-6 hours. I am still itching today, 3-14-13. Rash was nasty last night.

National Geographic reported on skin: "If you took off your skin and laid it flat, it would cover an area of about 21 square feet (2 square meters), making it by far the body's largest organ. Draped in place over our bodies, skin forms the barrier between what's inside us and what's outside. It protects us from a multitude of external forces. It serves as an avenue to our most intimate physical and psychological selves.

This impervious yet permeable barrier, less than a millimeter thick in places, is composed of three layers. The outermost layer is the bloodless epidermis. The dermis includes collagen, elastin, and nerve endings. The innermost layer, subcutaneous fat, contains tissue that acts as an energy source, cushion, and insulator for the body. From these familiar characteristics of skin emerge the profound mysteries of touch, arguably our most essential source of sensory stimulation.

Perceptions of pressure, temperature, and pain manifest themselves in many different ways. Gentle stimulation of pressure receptors can result in ticklishness, gentle stimulation of pain receptors in itching. Both sensations arise from a neurological transmission, not from something that physically exists.
Scratching puts a quick end to a variety of itches by creating a counter-irritation on the skin that diverts the brain's perception of the itch. Although no one has identified exactly what part of the brain receives itch signals, itches trigger activity in areas of the brain that prompt arm movement, presumably initiating a scratch response.
But there is more to relieving some itches than a simple scratch. "Few medical researchers pay serious attention to itches even though everyone experiences them," says Goh Chee Leok, clinical professor of dermatology at the National Skin Centre in Singapore. "There are pain clinics but no itch clinics."

Burn patients, psoriasis patients, many people have it worse than me. Yet, I itch and the cortisone drugs to help relieve the itch make me dangerously dark and cast a brooding futility over everything I think about. Except iPad games... they have been a terrific distraction. Have you ever scratched so much that your skin hurts when the idea of scratching some more arises? Is this some bad karma because I am not prone to poison ivy?

I have seen two doctors and am scheduled with a dermatologist this week. No one seems to know what is causing this and they tell me we might never know. I think it is from a long-acting injection I had at the end of November to treat osteoporosis.

Now I am in retreat and thinking about how I can get through this without more cortisone?

Might I yield to the Holy Spirit enough that heavenly indwelling power can help me rise above the physical sensation and rest in the power of holy love? To me, that is a tall challenge.