Waiting and Watching my Fingers Swell

As we waited through the weekend of June 30 to the Monday appointment July 2, I watched my fingers swell to the point of being swollen together. Yikes!! ugly, useless  sausages on the end of a twice broken arm. It was all rather surreal. I regularly see a Psychologist who helps me in dealing with pain issues. I was using every tool she has taught me and all I have learned about centering prayer and meditation and ways to quiet one's own spirit; in short, tools for waiting on the Lord and for events to unfold. She had recently told me about the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. I ordered it from the library and looked forward to maybe finding a few new tools in her work.

The shed project that had been 6 months in the planning went forward. On Saturday around lunch time Kate came over to drive me up to the shed project to observe how things were going and to cheer on the troops. Bob was surprised to see me and I promised him I was only staying for 30 minutes. I lasted more like 20 minutes! The video is 5 minutes long, but I am really proud of the hard work they accomplished in one sweltering day!!

Bob started work at the shelter before the others and stayed behind after the others to make certain everything was put in order after the event. I had spoken with him late in the day and told him I was going to try to sleep a little while. At the end of the day, he got everything loaded in his car. Went to start his car and guess what? It would not start. Mind you, he would not call me for fear of waking me, and he had no church members phone numbers in his cell phone yet. So in that heat and with great exhaustion he began walking home the 1-3/4 miles to our house. On the way he passed our local auto repair garage and the door was open. Late Saturday afternoon the owner was in there! Bob told him the dilemma and that sweet man told him to get in the truck. He went with Bob back to the shelter, put a chain on the car in shelter's back lawn and pulled him to the garage. Then he brought Bob home to get my car so he could return to the repair garage and empty the car of the day's contents. Those two men deserve great praise and thanks!

Bob worked the next day, Sunday, so he could be off Monday to take me back to the Hand Surgeon. I stayed home from church as I did not have a ride, and really did not belong away from home what with the swelling and pain meds.

I was able to use my prayer tools. The reminder from the book mark "The Only Constant in Life is Change" resonated with my experiences. I went from a Grammy keeping 3 Grandkids by herself one day a week to someone who needed help getting dressed. I went from Coordinator at large for the Shed project to someone who when the day came could not even help! From active Christian Do-ing to broken Christian Be-ing. And God was not surprised, nor absent. The comfort I gained from practicing my life verse was inestimable. ISA 30:15 "In returning and rest you are saved; in quietness and trust is your strength." I could choose to get worked up over the "wish I could haves" and "if onlys" thereby increasing my suffering and fulfilling the admonishment at the end of that verse "BUT YOU WOULD NOT." Or I could choose to wait under the wing of the Almighty and see how things would unfold.

Staying quiet was my duty. Imparting peace was His. We both performed marvelously! By His power I was able to call upon the Holy Spirit remembering a chorus He gave me many years ago, "Spirit of God within me, rise up. Spirit of God within me, rise up. Take ascendency over my body. Take ascendency over my mind." He did and I was able to refrain from panic and wait quietly.